


The Different Ways To Say 'I Love You'

by deathclassic



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Coming Out, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, They just love each other a lot, Wedding, love love love, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9694031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathclassic/pseuds/deathclassic
Summary: Different ways Dan and Phil say 'I Love You'





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically word vomit, I apologise

1\. "It reminded me of you"

 

Sometimes when Dan goes shopping by himself when Phil isn't with him, he gets lonely because he's used to pointing at ugly and funny looking objects and saying 'hey it's you' and having Phil give him a look that would remind him of The Office and break out into a grin and then they'd both laugh at the object. 

He's used to having someone walking next to him and having their hand brush against his. Neither of the boys were typically fond of public displays of affection but there was something that calmed him down of just feeling the presence of Phil next to him whenever they ventured into town. 

He's used to having someone criticising his fashion choices and not the comments and tweets from people on the internet who turn everything he ever does into a meme but a real life person who does make comments about them but would never say things to hurt him and later back at home, arms would wrap around his waist as he analyses the clothes and is assured that he will look amazing as always in whatever he wears. 

So when Phil goes away, Dan normally spends it all inside their apartment where he watches old anime's so he could watch new ones with Phil when he gets back and they both have something to look forward to. 

But sometimes he does go into town when there is something he needs for a video, or maybe Tesco didn't bring something that they definitely ordered - it was on the bloody receipt okay? Why isn't it in the bag? - or maybe he just needs to take his mind of missing his boyfriend. 

Like today, where Phil has fucked off to the North like a migrating bird, leaving Dan behind in London because he promised a new video to be uploaded on the weekend and Phil deserved some family time without Dan even though he can still hear Mrs Lester insisting he 'should come as well because he is family' and maybe his heart swells a little when he hears it but he politely says no he has to work. And he's about to start filming when he slaps himself on the forehead because he forgot to buy something for his video and he can't film without it. 

So he goes into town in search of the item he thought he already had so he could film, edit and upload by the weekend because Dan is a good person who doesn't break promises, much. 

And sometimes when he goes to town alone, he makes unnecessary purchases on things he definitely does (not) need and he's just bad at social interactions and panics a lot. So now Dan is the proud owner of a ceramic Husky dog that can be used as a teapot - yeah Dan's not sure either - because the owner of the shop caught him looking at it. It's not his fault that the Husky dog had bright blue eyes and black and white fur, if anything, it's Phil's fault for having bright blue eyes and black hair and white skin. 

He ends up buying what he really came for as well as the dog teapot and texts a picture of it to Phil with an angry emoji saying 'this purchase is all your fault'

Phil replied with a crying/laughing face and a 'lol what is that and why is it my fault' and an unnecessary amount of question marks.

Dan bites his lip as he types out a 'It reminded me of you' response and turns his phone off as the train pulls up. 

 

2\. "You can have half"

 

Phil does this thing and everyone who knows what a Phil Lester is, is aware of this thing he does. Dan calls it the 'Snacking Epidemic' whereas Phil calls it 'I'm kind of hungry but not hungry enough for a full meal' but either way it's a problem. 

They had been gifted a box of cupcakes after the release of 'The Amazing Book Is Not On Fire' and both of them had steadily been going through the box since they had gotten them about a week before. One thing Dan had quickly realised was that there was an odd amount of cupcakes which he had pointed out to Phil who had grinned that stupid grin he does with his tongue poking out, shrugs and says 'may the best man win' and picks the 3rd last cupcake out of the box. Dan grumbles at this and takes out the 2nd last. 

It's 3am and Phil can't sleep.

Dan is passed out next to him, limbs thrown out all over the place in an uncoordinated fashion and he's snoring which Phil will definitely make fun of him for when he wakes up. With a sigh he pushes the duvet off of him, making sure it's still covering Dan and walks quietly out of his room and into the kitchen to satisfy his sudden awakeness. 

He's not sure if he's hungry or bored but the last cupcake in the box on the shelf in the fridge looks pretty appetising right now. He's already gotten the cupcake in his hand, about to remove the wrapping around the sides when he hears a small cough coming from the doorway. He knows without turning that Dan is going to be leaning against the frame of the door with an amused expression on his face and tired eyes in his wrinkled pyjamas and tousled bed hair. He does turn around and his assumptions are correct and he sheepishly looks at Dan. 

He holds out the cupcake as a piece offering and utters out a 'you can have half' which makes Dan smile sleepily and they're both eating half a cupcake on the floor of their kitchen, backs pressed against the cupboards and shoulders pressed one another at 3am. 

 

3\. "Watch your step"

 

Phil isn't the most coordinated person out there. 

It's just that he's pretty sure that his mum dropped him as a child as a large piece of his 'coordination lobe' is missing resulting in at least 12 clumsy accidents a day. He rarely gets seriously injured which he thinks is a blessing but he does end up with bruises and scrapes and tiny cuts which Dan helps clean up with a roll of the eyes, a chuckle and a fondness spreading over his face. 

But Dan, lovely Dan, adores his clumsiness and it's one of the things that make their day to day lives so interesting. He can't remember a day where Phil has somehow done something that hadn't made him laugh whether it be walking into the glass door of the kitchen, tripping over his own two feet trying to walk from room to room, not being able to balance on one foot and toppling over when trying to take a sock off or even just misjudging how close a chair is and managing to miss the chair completely. 

They were working on editing a gaming video and Phil had offered to go downstairs to the kitchen to refill their Ribena - honestly do they drink anything else? Are they sponsored by Ribena at this point? They should, Phil thinks about this a lot. 

'Watch your step' Dan calls out without taking his eyes off the computer because he knows Phil will get lost in his mind and miss a step. He knows that he'll try to play it off as if nothing happened but you can hear nearly everything in this house and Phil is a really bad liar. 

Dan hears him stumble on a step and smiles to himself as he cuts and puts together a decent video and he even asks if Phil fell when he comes back up the stairs and the 'no' with the absent of eye contact is enough to make Dan laugh. 

 

4\. "I'll pick you up at the airport"

 

Dan's not particularly fond of going on holidays with his family. He loves his family, he really does but he can't help but feel like they expected more of him. He got amazing grades in high school and he even went to University to study law, he could have been a lawyer and yet he's on the Internet making videos for a living and he's not sure if his parents entirely understand what he does. 

He's tried to explain it to them countless times but it doesn't seem to stick with them so he just gave up. He knows his parents are proud of him, even if they don't really say it because his family has never been one to express their love and pride for each other but he can feel it deep down. He also knows that they would rather have him become a lawyer where he could really help people out but he does that on the Internet as well, helps millions of people all over the world and brings them joy. 

So when his mum rings him up to ask if he'd like to come to India with the family, he hesitates for a bit before agreeing. It's just he likes having Phil around, he's grown so used to having Phil around all the time and call him a clingy boyfriend but he misses Phil literally the second they're apart. 

He's packing his suitcase the night before he leaves to meet his family at the airport as Phil sits against the headrest of his - their - bed and chats about the trip Dan is going on. Phil is also offering words of encouragement as Dan lies down on the floor for the 3rd time in half an hour complaining about how much he hates packing and he could do this in 5 minutes before he left and Phil gives him a look that Dan smiles at and rolls over to continue his packing. 

Dan's about to get into a taxi the next morning but he's standing outside their front door with his head buried into Phil's chest and he has to bend his knees slightly to do so and they're not talking just holding and touching one another. Phil knows what Dan thinks about his family and he knows that Dan's going to miss him, he's going to miss Dan too.   
'I'll pick you up at the airport' Phil says as the taxi outside beeps its horn and Dan gives him a weak smile before leaning in for a kiss and then he's gone for a week. They miss each other already and Phil can still see Dan in the window of the taxi. 

 

5\. "Can I kiss you?"

 

The bed sheets are white and so is the duvet, blankets, pillows, towels and basically everything is white and it's a stark contrast to what either of them are used to. The brightness of the room stands out against the darkness of Dan's outfit and the colours of Phil's. They're lying on the bed, tired from the flight over and the lighting of the room is hurting their eyes but they focus on one another and their eyes don't hurt anymore. 

'Can I kiss you?' is what Phil asks and Dan nods and closes the gap between them, they're really wasn't much of a gap between them in the first place. It was a Dan and Phil thing, they didn't like being apart from each other and even when they didn't notice they were doing it. They just sort of gravitated towards one another, like they were a magnet. (You're the positive magnet and I'm the negative, Dan had once said jokingly). 

Kissing was one of their favourite things to do with each other, apart from watching anime, binge watching crime shows and making collabs on YouTube together. It was intimate and private and sure people on the Internet wrote fan fics on them making out and doing even more with one another but they were just for fun and none of it was 'real' so to speak. At least the people writing them had no idea it was in fact real. It was just their thing and no one really knew about it so it made it even more special. 

Sometimes Phil pulls Dan on top of him when they're lying down kissing and sometimes it's the other way around. Sometimes they're sitting on the end of the bed after having filmed a video together and their legs are facing forwards but their torsos are twisted towards one another as their hands grab onto their shirts and Phil's tongue has somehow made it into Dan's mouth. 

Sometimes they're just lying next to each other in a hotel room, in their clothes after a long ass flight from London to LA for a fan event and they're so tired but they don't really want to stop anytime soon. Even though the white of the room hurts their eyes when they open them again but they can just focus on one another and their eyes don't hurt anymore. But really Phil is a sight for sore eyes, Dan thinks. 

 

6\. "I want you to be happy"

 

Dan has existential crisis' quite a bit and it's safe to say that they can be relatively harmless but sometimes they turn into depressive episodes. The difference between these is that while existential crisis' focus on what Dan is doing with his life and the inevitability of death whereas a depressive episode is more personal and more depressing because the two sometimes overlap and Phil's not sure which one he's dealing with. 

Phil sits with Dan while he lies on the carpeted hallway and rambles on about what's going through his mind and Phil coaches him through it with encouraging shoulder pats and inspirational words. Sometimes Dan just lies there so Phil leans against him and plays on his Nintendo DS until he's ready to talk. 

He figures this one must be a depressive episode. Dan's lying face down on the carpet - it's kind of sad that this is a common occurrence, to be in this position, this spot - and he's not really talking, more like mumbling words in hopes that they miraculously make a sentence but really they're jumbled up and he's not making sense. 

He catches a few words, hate being the said the most, myself is thrown out a lot and so is die. He knows that Dan struggles with a few mental illnesses and that he was incredibly lonely before he met Phil, Dan once told him that he saved him, but sometimes Dan seems to forget and Phil has to remind him. He reminds him that he's danisnotonfire and he's Dan Howell, he's an inspiration and a saviour to millions of people who are subscribed to him, and he's the most beautiful person in the world and that he's the love of his life and Dan would try and smile at the last one because it goes the same way for both of them. 

Sometimes Dan talks about deleting his YouTube account just so he could be Dan Howell instead of this Internet persona and Phil talks him out of it but ultimately Phil would support any decision that Dan would make.

'I want you to be happy' Phil says as Dan shifts and moves his head into Phil's open hand, like a cat Phil says to himself. Because happiness is something that Dan deserves and if he's not happy doing YouTube anymore than he should find something that does. Dan always replies with a you make me happy or I'm happy whenever I'm with you.

 

7 ."I love you"

 

'I love you' is shown when they wake up in the mornings, both have ridiculous bed hair and they often tease each other about it. The teasing is what shows the love.

'I love you' is shown when Dan holds a door open for Phil. The gesture is what shows the love. 

'I love you' is shown when Phil makes Dan breakfast in bed on a day that's not even a special occasion. The randomness is what shows the love. 

'I love you' is shown when Dan is sitting on the floor of their bedroom, watching Phil film a video and he sits out of the camera's view, just watching and smiling. The presence is what shows the love. 

'I love you' is shown when Phil asks Dan if he's got his seat belt on in the taxi on the way to their destination. The care is what shows the love.

'I love you' is said in every video they have made together from 2009 until today and they have it all stored on their computer, cut out from the uploaded videos but sitting in a video of its own, ready to be uploaded. The years is what shows the love. 

'I love you' is typed out in Phil's tweet a week after the video has been uploaded, he doesn't tag Dan because he and every other person knows who it's meant for. The knowledge is what shows the love. 

'I love you' is said in the caption of Dan's Instagram post after their wedding a year after uploading the video, they're in suits and he's pretty sure he's crying. It's the love that shows the love.

**Author's Note:**

> please comment what you think!


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